A couple nights ago when the kids were still feeling okay we were all playing in their room. CootieBoy decided to play with one of CootieGirl’s toys (that she wasn’t playing with). CootieGirl had a fit and grabbed it out of his hands and a fight ensued.
I took away the toy from both of them, gave CootieBoy an alternative toy to play with and lectured CootieGirl on sharing. I told them the toy was on temporary timeout and would be returned to the playing field in five minutes. She was NOT happy about it and started fussing.
Her fussing caused CootieBoy to get fussy, and after mere seconds both kids went into meltdown mode and began crying in earnest, crawling all over Daddy for comforting.
Without missing a beat, Denis looked at me and said, “Maybe two is enough.”
I laughed, because at that moment Denis became me! For the past several months I’ve been constantly waffling over the idea of having a third child. Part of me loves being a mom – my kids are awesome and sweet and cute and I’d love to have more. But the other part of me gets stressed being a mom – the illnesses, the fighting, the needling, the tantrums. And we’re only 2 1/2 years into this, people.
When they are being good, I definitely want more. When they are being tempermental, I definitely think two is enough. So how do you decide? When is enough, enough? I know two sets of parents that have 8 and 9 kids and I know at least ONE of those women was sad she couldn’t have more. Part of me thinks, “Well, if they can do it, we can do it.” Do I want nine kids? No. way. But three – MAYBE four – might be nice. It would certainly keep me on my toes when I finally get to be an at-home mom in a few years. But I’m not getting any younger. I think I’m going to be 37 this year (is that right?…yeah, 37 (sorry – I had to do the math) – which means if I get preggers THIS year I’ll be 37, and then if I wait an additional 18 months to have another one we’re looking at being 40 years old when the last one is born (that’s IF we were to go for four kids). Can I handle being mom to a newborn at 40 years old? Can I handle being a mom to four kids 6 years old and under? Don’t know…part of me would love to give it a shot, and another part of me thinks I should leave well enough alone, stick with the two I’ve got and get a tubal.
Take it from a mom of four…you can do anything, once you set your heart and mind to it…the rest is a bag a chips and an endless supply of Tylenol ;o)
Good luck!
You have to take it all one step, one day at a time. And pray for guidance. God will show you. Just when we humans say “I CAN’T DO THIS!” He calmly says, But, I can.”
I laughed when I read this – you’re 37 and balking at having another baby. I’m approaching 39 and you’re encouraging me to have one. Of course our circumstances are slightly different since you already have two and I have none, but still…irony.
Doesn’t it make you wish we were about 5 years younger still? That magic age of 40 makes a huge difference in this kind of decision.
Jaynee, your post takes me several years back (like 20 or so!), to when we were contemplating whether we would like to have more than two children. Such a tough decision to make, we decided to stick with the two we had, and although I have had momentary lapses of “what if”, I think it was right for us. Don’t stress, you’ll know when you know!