The Spiders Are Coming…The SPIDERS ARE COMING!

Anyone who knows me knows one important fact: I have acute arachnophobia. Just typing the title of this post? Made me shiver uncontrollably. I hate them that much. Look, I just shivered again. I HATE them. I know another blogger who hates them so much she won’t even call them “spiders” because the word instills fear in her. To be honest – it does in me as well, and I may start referring them by another name as well. Maybe “demons from Hell?” I’m sure Satan’s second choice behind appearing as a snake was to be a spider.

But back to the main point of this post.

Yesterday we found FOUR big spiders in the house. Three within one hour’s timespan. All in the kitchen. Needless to say I am FREAKING OUT that my husband is leaving today for a 6-day trip. Who is gonna kill the spiders? Not CootieGirl – she hates them as much as I do and screams about Charlotte’s Web as she runs away. I don’t think CootieBoy cares, but is it possible to train a 3 year old to get some toilet paper, smash and kill a spider and flush it town the toilet while Mom and Sister cower in the corner hoping to stay away from the ghostie spiders that are created when the physical one is killed?

Yes. I’m admitting that I believe that as soon as a spider is killed that a ghost spider rises up and haunts that person. That’s why I won’t kill spiders – I make other people do it. I don’t need ghost spiders following me around the rest of my life.

You think I’m certifiable, don’t you? I’m not – I’m pretty normal. No seriously, I am.

The spiders in the house last night had bodies about the size of a dime, with long legs that made them about the size of a half dollar. BIG spiders. I just shivered again. I need to call Orkin and schedule an in-the-house treatment before these things get out of control. I don’t remember having spiders like this last fall. Did they wake up in the spring and hear that I had moved to town, and thought I invited them in for an end-of-summer party? Because I didn’t. In fact, the invitation specifically said, “SPIDERS NOT ALLOWED IN.” I’m specieist that way.