CRAZEE

When you work in a law firm, you tend to get some crazy people calling every now and again. Now, sometimes it’s hard to tell who is crazy until you’ve been on the phone with them for a while.

Last night one of our paralegals was on the phone with a woman who said she would pay our firm $100,000 to represent her. Then she said she was recently homeless but had bought a house. Then she said she wanted us to work on the estate administration for her father, who had died 20 years ago. Our paralegal, ever the professional, consulted with one of our attorneys who recommended that the paralegal call the woman back and refer the woman to a local lawyer referral service (which is mainly for people who can’t afford lawyer fees). When the paralegal called back, the crazee said, “Oh, I’ve already found someone. I’ve been dealing with a woman named **** who is going to help me.”

Now, **** works in our office and was already gone for the day. So this morning when **** came into the office, she found she had THREE voicemails from the crazee. However, **** did not actually speak with the crazee yesterday. So we have no idea how she found ****’s number.

So, the first paralegal called the woman back and said, “Hi, I spoke with you yesterday. You left some voicemails for **** last night and I just wanted to let you know that **** and I work together in the same office, and –”

Just then crazee cut her off. “Oh, you are one of those women who gets jealous of other women. I’m not dealing with you. I’m only dealing with ****.” And hung up.

**** and the first paralegal came into Mr. BIL’s office to get some advice, and he recommended that **** call the woman back and tell her we’re unable to represent her and give her the lawyer referral number.”

So **** calls the woman. She leaves it on speaker phone so that the first paralegal can hear the call and pipe in if necessary. So our entire section heard this part.

“Hi there, ma’am. My name is **** and you called me about having our firm represent you. I’m afraid that at this time we will be unable to represent you and –”

“You are NOT ****. I know ****’s voice and you are NOT her.” (now bear in mind, the woman has only left voicemails for **** and never actually SPOKE with her on the phone.) “I can have you arrested for impersonating someone.”

**** was a bit surprised to hear she’s not herself, and finally said, “Okay, well if you can call **** back, she’ll let you know that we cannot represent you.”

With that, crazee hung up on ****.

And about a dozen people burst out laughing.