Quadruple Threat of Ailments

I’ve had neck pain the past few days. This morning I woke up with a raging headache and finally had to give in about an hour ago and take some Advil. And then a few minutes after that I got a nosebleed. Then fifteen minutes ago I got a yowser of a paper cut.

I think I’m gonna run out and eat some e.coli infested lettuce and some mad cow disease laden meat. Just to mix things up a bit.