On Spanking Children and Time Out

Amy at Permission to Peruse tagged me for a discussion on spanking children. The easy answer to her question: Yes, we spank our children on occasion.

When CootieGirl was a single child, we NEVER had to spank her. Just the idea of time out was enough to get her to obey or stop bad behavior. She was easy to discipline because putting her on the naughty step was all it took. Once CootieBoy arrived, a subtle change came into the house. Once he could walk he became a handful in a way that CootieGirl never was. Time Out? He laughed in the face of Time Out. But a swat on his diapered butt when he disobeyed? Almost always works.

Fortunately, my kids are good enough most of the time that I rarely have to spank (I can’t even remember the last time I spanked CootieGirl). We still do time out on occasion – notably when CootieBoy provokes CootieGirl for no reason, or pulls her hair, or deliberately disobeys an order that was just dispensed. For a while when CootieBoy was in the midst of some HORRIBLE terrible two’s, he got spanked a lot. When he would throw a tantrum while I was changing a diaper and kick me in the stomach, he’d get spanked. When he’d throw a tantrum about going to bed and pull my hair in protest, or pinch my face, or scratch my neck – he’d get spanked. Basically, I’d respond to his tantrums with a quick short swat on the butt, and his tantrums would collapse into requests for post-spank hugs and apologies (on both our parts – him for kicking/pinching/scratching, and me after explaining why he was spanked).

I’m against spanking just for spanking’s sake. I know a few parents who spank for the slightest infraction, when a timeout or simple lecture is all that is needed. With CootieGirl I know that if I just say, “I’m going to count to three and if you don’t ___________________ (do what I ask) then I’m going to spank you.” She freaks before I even get to number two and begins doing what she should be doing. Using this method I have NEVER had to spank her. Just the IDEA of me counting to three is enough for her. With CootieBoy, he’s just like me – rebellious, curious to know if people will follow through. So I can’t do the whole “count to three” thing or else I’d be spanking him all day long trying to get him to do my bidding. So my interactions with CootieBoy are a work in progress and I’ve found that raising my voice is effective – he hates it when I raise my voice. I don’t have to spank him that often, but I’m not opposed to it if he blatantly disregards an order or request.

• Miche does not spare the rod.
• Jo-N wants to be her children’s best friend.
• Tot’s Mom spares the rod and believes in patience.
• Huckdoll spares the rod and believes there are more effective yet gentle ways to discipline than spanking.
• Kelly at Ordinary Art has a three-step approach that does not always work but leaves tiny tushes mark free.
• OhMommy has spanked and never will again.
• Amy spanks when necessary.
• This Amy spanks, too

Instructions:
1. Go to your blog.
2. Post about the topic.
3. Give me the hot, hard, and heavy linky love
4. Copy the last paragraph above and add your name and discipline style.
5. Post that paragraph onto your blog, including links. (Yeah, you will want to sharpen a pencil and stab it in your eye at this point. But, isn’t that half the fun.)
6. Go to the five people you have tagged and leave them a comment to know they are now, it.
7. Sit back and let the comments roll in.

I’ll tag these ladies (and gent): Fluid Pudding, Jeanius Thoughts, f-Bomb, KateSpot, and Pyreflies over Zanarkand.