The Lost Weekend

This is a complete TMI post – all non-TMI related topics about the weekend will be posted later. But for now, this is TMI and if you don’t want to read about medical procedures and abcess problems, don’t extend the entry. Seriously. Don’t do it.

Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

On Friday night I attempted to drain the bump (now the size of a large grape) on my leg. It was all for naught though, when NOTHING would come out. And after creating several large bruises in an attempt to get it out, I gave up and decided to go to the doctor super-early on Saturday morning.

Woke up to incredible pain on Saturday and drove myself to the urgent care center, arriving at 6:40 a.m. to an empty lobby. Waited in the lobby until 7:15 a.m. then got taken to an examination room. Waited another 30 minutes before the doctor came in. He examined me, then told me that he was going to give me some localized shots to numb the area, would make an incision, drain the wound, then pack it and bandage me up.

The shots? THE MOST PAINFUL THING I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE. Nothing beats it. Seriously. Childbirth contractions? I scorn childbirth contractions. Kidney stone? Bah! You see, getting eight (Yes, EIGHT) shots on a heavily bruised section of your inner thigh that you ALREADY can’t put pressure on is the clear winner in the “what hurts most” category. I tell ya – I screamed bloody murder and crying profusely when the doc was giving me those shots. The incision and drainage wasn’t a picnic either, but those shots. Oh those shots. Just thinking about them makes my leg throb in remembrance. So the doc made one incision and didn’t get a lot of stuff out, so he made a SECOND incision and the draining began. He noted that it was mainly blood, not infection. He then packed the wound and the nurses bandaged me up. He gave me two prescriptions – antibiotic and painkiller and told me to come back in 24 hours. I left the doc’s around 9 a.m. and drove home, crying the whole way. Not a fun way to spend a Saturday morning.

Denis filled my prescriptions for me and I tell ya, those painkillers WORKED. Once the Vicodin kicked in I felt NO PAIN. It was glorious. Of course, I was in a stupor the whole time, but NO PAIN.

That night, CootieBoy woke in the middle of the night crying. I went up to his room to comfort him and fell asleep next to him. Woke up about two hours later with a HUGE charley horse in my other leg. So now BOTH legs were in pain. Even today I can still feel the twinge in the charley horse leg.

On Sunday morning I woke up early again, this time arriving at the doctor’s office around 6:30 a.m. I waited ten minutes and was taken to a back room. Another ten minutes later the doc came in. He took out the packing, cleaned the wound a bit, then repacked it. He was like Mengele – no finesse whatsoever, and the repacking felt like he was ramming needlenose pliers into my leg. He told me to come back the next day. Went home, took more meds, got ready for church and continued my day.

So this morning I woke up at 4:40 a.m. and drove over to the doctor. This was the best of all doctors, AND the best time to go to urgent care. NO ONE was there. About 1 minute after I paid the copay I was swept into a room, and within 60 seconds the doc was in there looking at the wound. He did have to squeeze it a bit to get out some infection, but he said it was looking good. He then did some repacking, and it hardly hurt at all compared to yesterday’s doctor of death. The great news? I don’t have to go back until WEDNESDAY to have it looked at again.

The other good news, I don’t need the pain meds anymore. After yesterday’s horrible repacking I definitely needed the painkiller but I didn’t take any this morning because it felt okay. It’s now 11:33 a.m. and I’m still feeling okay, although I did bring one Vicodin with me in case I start to feel crappy. Of course, I’ll reach some point in my day where I CAN’T take it or else I won’t be able to drive home. But so far, so good.

So that’s my medical Mother’s Day.