So I have this comment sitting in my WordPress admin area, waiting to be approved or denied. I rarely delete comments and typically only refuse to allow spam (for obvious reasons). I remember a few months ago I had an issue where someone had something rude to say to me, and I approved the comment anyway. Free speech and all that.
But today’s comment bothers me for a separate reason. The other day I posted about Denis’ new job. I posted that item on Monday, April 16, his first day on the clock. That’s also the day of the Virginia Tech shootings. I posted our announcement at 9:51 a.m. – long before the true extent of what happened at Virginia Tech was known. Indeed, at the point of my posting even I was only just finding out that ANY shooting had taken place.
And yet I posted about Denis’ job because we’re excited, we’re happy, and it is an important thing for our family. And while the news of a shooting at VA Tech was sad, I still wanted to let friends and family know about Denis’ new job.
In a new post on April 17th, I only briefly mentioned the VA Tech shooting. The truth is, anything I say about the incident will have been said already by people much more eloquent than me. I’m sad for the victims, and sad for the family of the shooter. But I’m not going to write long essays about a deep grief that I just don’t feel. Read that sentence again – what’s the most important phrase there? DEEP GRIEF. I do grieve for those people, but it is not a deep grief because I don’t know those people.
Does the situation affect me? Sure. I wonder about my children’s future. I wonder if I should homeschool them to keep them safe. I wonder if I’m raising the next disaffected kid who tragically takes out schoolmates. I wonder if my kids are going to reach their 21st birthdays. I wonder if I’m doing all I can do to let my kids know they are loved so that they grow up into well-adjusted and happy adults who would never think of doing something like that.
The sad true fact is that since I’m not personally affected by what happened at VA Tech, life goes on. As it does for almost everyone in the world. People still commute to and from work. Meetings still take place. Groceries still need to be bought. American Idol still plays on TV. And jokes about the priest and the rabbi are still told.
The commenter basically implied that I’m a little self-involved and that it’s “not all about Denis”. Well you know what? On Monday? It was. Because he got a great job and deserved to receive recognition for that. Regardless of the war in Iraq, the state of healthcare in this country, or the shootings at Virginia Tech.
I’m going to approve the comment, but let the record show that just because I don’t wax poetic about the tragedy at Virginia Tech doesn’t mean I’m self-involved. It just means that life goes on. And in two weeks once the Next Big Story has come out in the news (as Denis noted this morning, notice how the Don Imus thing is all but ignored now, and yet last week we couldn’t get away from that story) I guarantee that 90% of the people in this country will forget about what happened at Virginia Tech until next April when all the newspeople will begin once again talking about all the tragedies that have taken place around mid-April (there are a lot of them).
And yes, the Oklahoma bombing and the Branch Davidian deaths in Waco, Texas happened on April 19, which also happens to be my anniversary. So what do YOU think I’m going to talk about tomorrow?
Bummer. And you’re right – we’re all affected somehow, but not all of us will feel the same level of grief over this event. Life does, indeed, go on and that is what life is about. Well said.
Good for you, Jaynee! This is YOUR blog about what’s happening with you & your family! You could post entries every day about the troops who die in Iraq, does that person want you to turn this
into a national mourning site?
We humans only have so much energy to pour into emotions – I say try to be as happy as you can in life!
I don’t get people who feel they have to try and dictate what you should post on your blog and how you should be feeling at any point in a particular time. I think it’s big of you to publish their comment anyway – I’m of the mind that free speech doesn’t necessarily belong to other people on my blog, they’re welcome to get their own and spout whatever they like. I can only imagine what they’d think of me who didn’t even bother to post anything about it at all because, well, I’ve got nothing to say. It’s tragic, certainly. But that’s about as far as it impacted my life. If all people posted on was the tragedy in the world, there’d be no time to post on the things that were beautiful.
Thanks for that, Beth. I was content to not say anything about VA Tech as well, but felt I should since I was going to allow that comment.
I go to Foxnews .com if I want to read about the news. I come to Cootiehog to read about the Cooties. *hug*
the good Lord graciously allows us to mourn with those who mourn AND rejoice with those rejoice.
there’s no reason we can’t do both – i’m so happy for you and Denis, and i hope his job is going well!
Amen, kbf
and Amen, Annie.
If the comment is from who I think it is I just think that person has a very tender heart, and probably couldn’t see past the events of that day. Some people are wired to compartmentalize feelings and you, Jaynee, are one of them. No fault there.
Jaynee — I applaud you, not only for your honesty, but in the
face of personal attack, being able to take the high road
and allow for someone else’s freedom (in this case, speech).
We live in a world that bears tragedy and grief
everyday. We should be grateful and celebrate every blessing that
comes our way. Congratulations, Denis, on your new job.
J & D — Happy Anniversary! Celebrate as if there is no tomorrow.
Lots of love and may God bless us all. KJ
Marmie – it’s not from who you think it is – she doesn’t have internet at home. Also, the IP address was in Herndon, VA.
You know, horrible, awful, terrible things happen every day in this world. If we did nothing but focus on all that…we’d never feel any joy, never feel any optimism, and would likely lead very unhappy lives.
I rarely talk about some of the hideous things that happen in the world on my blog. That doesn’t mean I don’t think about them, and that doesn’t mean they don’t affect me. What it means is…quite simply…that I choose not to discuss them on my blog.
JMHO.
Oops…hit submit before I finished…and BTW…congrats to Denis, that’s wonderful news for all of you! 🙂
Thanks, Stacy! I’m like you in that regard as far as discussing politics or news on this site. I’m not the person to discuss such things, and this isn’t the blog for it.
*Sigh* Why do people feel the need to judge and criticize you for what you write on your blog about YOUR life? Keep on doing what you’re doing, Jaynee, we all love to read about the Cooties.
Well, that’s a relief that I had the wrong person!